The thought of introducing your boyfriend to your parents is terrifying. What if they will not like the person that you are currently dating? What if your teenage lover ends up making a big mistake in front of your mom or dad? What if something goes wrong during the introduction? These are just some of the things that are probably making you feel anxious about this matter.
Whatever it is that you are feeling right now is only normal, most importantly if your parents are strict. As such, it is essential for you to think twice before making a move. Do not rush into bringing your boyfriend to your home. Take your time in assessing the situation to determine whether the right time has come for the meetup. Here are some of the things that you must factor in to help you with the decision-making process:
Find The Perfect Timing
“Major life transitions can bring up a lot past memories, increase anxiety, disorder eating and body image, and even though it’s “the happiest time of your life”, depression and other mental health symptoms are known to flare up.” That is according to Brie Shelly, MS, LMHC, RYT. Whether you like it or not, the truth is that it is all about the right timing. You need to know the proper time when to ask your boyfriend to meet your parents. This is where you will think of the appropriate methods on how to make the introduction subtle. Knowledge about the usual reactions of your parents is a big help so that you could identify if the time is right.
Talk To Your Parents First
Before deciding this matter, it is imperative to have a serious talk with your parents first. Never surprise them at home by simply bringing your partner. When you do this, you are only placing yourself in a compromising situation. There is a high possibility that your parents will be unhappy with this step. As such, it is highly recommended to talk to them ahead of time. In so doing, you will get an idea of whether or not your mom and dad are ready for the encounter. Dr. Aaron Kaplan, PsyD, Clinical Psychologist once said, “Why talk about your problems including mental health challenges? Just talking about your situation to someone can reduce your stress and help you feel better.”
Follow His Lead
Another thing that you need to take into consideration is the action of your boyfriend. Has he introduced you already to his friends? Did he bring you to his place to meet his parents? If you answered yes to these questions, then it is probably right to do the same for him. However, if the answer is the opposite, you may want to rethink your choice. Maybe it is still too soon to think of having him meet your parents.
Remember that all your actions have corresponding consequences. When making a decision, do not forget to think of the pros and cons. Once you have decided to go on with introducing your teenage lover to your parents, the first thing you need to do is to inform your partner about it. Let him know of your plans so that he can prepare. At the same time, there is also a necessity to inform your parents ahead of time. Assure your partner that everything is going to be okay. The first few minutes of the meet and greet may be awkward, but you will get through it together. “You definitely can hang on to your unique self, trusting you do know yourself enough, while still leaving space for another person to be their own true selves.” A reminder from Psychotherapist Sona DeLurgio, PsyD, LMFT